How to become humble. How to learn to stop in time and radiate calmness when something pisses you off. How to stay calm in a stressful situation
About how to become calmer - we offer excellent ways that will help you stay calm like a boa constrictor in any critical situation.
So imagine the situation...
Morning. The alarm clock shows 7 am. You barely open your eyes and curse the neighbors whose dog howled on the balcony for a good half of the night ...
On the way to work, some goat stepped on your foot on the bus, and some goat accidentally knocked over her coffee on you.
At work, every second client punched your brains with their claims and, and on the way home, the saleswoman in the store cheated you.
And now, sitting comfortably on a soft sofa in a cozy living room, your husband accidentally dropped a plate of sandwiches on a freshly vacuumed carpet.
It was here that Ostap suffered ...
You not only told your husband everything you think about him, but also remembered all his jambs over the last 3-5-10 years of married life.
And this is not the first such case.
You constantly break down on loved ones, accuse them of all mortal sins just because a complete stranger ruined your mood and you don’t feel like it at all.
In such cases, you should not blame everyone in a row, but you should think about how to become calmer!
After all, you will agree, why spoil relations with your beloved husband, when you can come into harmony with your inner world.
How to become calmer - work on yourself
Start setting goals
When you have firmly decided to become a calm person, start working on yourself with.
Tell yourself that calmness is the most important feeling that you need to develop in yourself.
And do not wait: do not wait for the weather by the sea, do not wait for a suitable sign, but do it.
Decided become calm So start working on yourself today!
Stop and breathe
Remember that peace will not come to you this very second, and will not even come in a few weeks.
It takes months and even years of training to become a calm person.
And we will begin to train with breathing.
When you feel that your anger and rage is propping up and asking to be released, do not rush to let it out.
Instead, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths in and out.
Believe me, after five such breaths, the desire to be hysterical and nervous will disappear by itself.
Helping ourselves to become calmer with the help of sports
Let me tell you straight up, you should never suppress your anger.
Suppressed emotions gradually accumulate and can spill out in a variety of ways: you throw a grand scandal, get sick or get covered with acne (urticaria, etc.)
You don't need this, do you?
Precisely to avoid composting the brains of relatives, sign up for boxing, karate, aikido or dancing.
All these activities will help you throw out negative emotions and become calmer.
Well, if you don’t have money for a gym (or you’re just stingy), then buy a darts, stick a photo of a villain on it and throw as many darts as you like at the hated one.
If sport relieves stress, then yoga helps to find peace of mind
Signing up for dancing or boxing, you shoot only those emotions that overwhelm you here and now.
To become a truly calm person and not fuss about various nonsense, you should dig much deeper - and yoga will help in this difficult matter.
Regular yoga practice will not only help you become calmer, as well as develop flexibility and bring harmony to the soul and body.
If you don't believe me, I'll give you an example of my friend, let's call her Christina.
Krista has always been a neat lady. Wrong step taken to the left or right - everything ... execution)) ...
And recently, her husband gave her a cute Persian cat for her birthday .. She admired him for a short time) ...
When no one was at home, the “glorious cat” managed to scratch her expensive corner wardrobe 🙂
Returning from work and seeing what was done - Christina broke ...
I don’t know what happened to the cat that evening, but the husband fell under the hot hand of 100%..
As a result, she realized that she was being torn off by little things on people who, in principle, were not to blame for anything.
And without thinking twice, she signed up for yoga, started reading Buddhist literature and turned into a super calm person in a tank.
Now, no matter what happens in Christina's life, she always remains calm and unshakable, she stopped screaming, and began to speak so quietly that her opponents have to listen to her with their mouths closed and not interrupt.
So learn from the mistakes of others and know that shouting will not help the cause!
And this is how you need to remain calm in any situation!
Watch and learn!
Summing up all of the above..
However, these methods are the most efficient and effective.
Of course, you can search the Internet for a million and one more ways to how to become calmer.
But I'll tell you a secret, until you learn to stop and breathe, not a single piece of advice will help you.
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They say that all diseases are from the nerves. We will not be so categorical: far from all. But some for sure. And in general, without any obvious ailments, vanity and imbalance can ruin your mood, character, life ... Of course, sometimes it is simply impossible to remain unperturbed. We are all living people, not robots programmed to perform practical tasks without emotion. All of us can be dissatisfied, annoyed and even pissed off by certain life circumstances, unpleasant people, our own luck.
But it depends only on us how we express our attitude towards them. Especially in the case when our reaction will still not affect the realities. This fact outrages even more, and now you are already indignant. Instead of further developing the conflict, we suggest that you take a deep breath and try to become more balanced and calm. Moreover, it is easier than it seems.
Calm, only calm
Absolutely cold-blooded perception is far from the best way to live a bright, interesting life. But the other extreme - excessive vehemence - nullifies all the pleasures that you could receive from the outside world. And the solution, as usual, is somewhere in the middle, in "no one's" territory. And it consists in balance, in the reasonable use of endurance and excitement, patience and resistance, indifference and passion. In addition, it is equally important to independently control your own emotions and show them only in the form, when and where it is appropriate. One of the main disadvantages of an overly hot nature is that you do not control emotions, but emotions control you. This automatically makes any tense situation in need of resolution not just out of control, but truly unpredictable. In addition, temperament has other negative consequences:
- When you're overexcited, your body releases the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Once in the blood, they provoke a higher rate of blood circulation due to a rapid heart rate. All this is fraught with increased blood pressure, arrhythmia, tachycardia and migraines.
- Psychosomatics is the connection of the nervous system with all other organs and the manifestation of mental disorders in different parts of the body. Gastritis, gastric and duodenal ulcers, allergies, hair loss and much more can easily be the result of an unbalanced psyche.
- Close people are not always to blame for your bad mood or sudden outburst of anger. Nevertheless, expressively demonstrating your dissatisfaction, you are slowly but surely destroying the foundation of trust and psychological comfort on which both friendships and family relationships are built.
- Even on strangers, irritability makes an unpleasant impression. Perhaps, in the heat of the moment, you will declare that you are not interested in the opinion of outsiders. But among them there may be those who are important to you. And anyway, why do you need a reputation as a hysteric?
How to become a calm person
To calmly look at the world raging around, far from perfection and energy balance? Why not! In the end, each of us lives in our own, subjective world, and it is entirely up to you to make it the way you want. Comfortable, cozy and rational. But you have to start with yourself. You will be able to overcome your own shortcomings - you will get harmony, calmness and strong nerves in addition. The action plan is: 
- Constancy. It is generally accepted that accuracy is the courtesy of kings. We add that accuracy is also a guarantee of internal balance, its cause and effect at the same time. You may not be punctual to the point of pedantry, but you must put things in order in your own life. Understanding what, why and when is happening to you gives you incomparable peace and confidence. And for this you just need to streamline the daily routine, fall asleep and wake up at approximately the same time, do not exhaust the body with strict starvation diets, excessive work and the complete absence of days off. Find time for sports activities and relaxation in silence. All this will bring stability to your life (or at least that feeling) and eliminate most of the causes for hassle.
- Nutrition. Your nervous system needs building material no less than other tissues and organs. Nerve cells are not restored only if they have nothing to “eat”. And for nutrition they need vitamins (mainly groups B, D, E) and minerals (magnesium, potassium, sulfur). The body reacts to their lack of fatigue, chronic fatigue, irritability. If you notice that there is literally no strength to restrain negative emotions, try eating more whole grain cereals, seafood, fruits and greens, supplementing them with a vitamin complex. Instead of black tea, drink green, as well as decoctions of mint, lemon balm, chamomile. Alcohol, coffee and too spicy food excite nervous reactions, so their amount should be reduced or completely abandoned.
- Rest. The importance of rest as such for the nervous system is undeniable. It is also obvious that different ways of leisure affect the psyche in different ways. If you notice excessive irritability and a tendency to outbursts of anger, then you should not abuse bungee jumping, snowboarding and other extreme entertainment. It is better to give preference to calm and relaxing activities, go out of town more often, take a walk in the forest or river bank. On weekends, look less often at the TV screen and more often at the water surface, the horizon, and tree crowns. Green color calms, and fresh air sets you in a good mood.
- Hobbies. Start a hobby that requires measured, unhurried actions: painting, growing flowers (in pots or in a flower bed), needlework. Listen and read the classics, watch good, funny and high-quality films. Give up gloomy and flashy colors in clothes and interiors. Get a pet that will evoke positive emotions and with its presence will reconcile you with the imperfections of those around you.
- Positive example. The environment inevitably, although not always explicitly, influences our behavior. To become calmer, communicate mainly with good-natured and positive-minded people. When you feel that you are about to explode and see no other way out of the situation, imagine how a person who is a model of prudence would act in your place. Copy his imaginary behavior once, twice, and so on, until reflection and control over emotions become a habit. If possible, attend trainings, master classes and lectures by psychologists and other specialists who are simply interesting to you.
- Debts. Sometimes we ourselves do not know what kind of annoyance gnaws at us from the inside. It is not possible to formulate it and identify the source of irritation, but it leaves an imprint on all words and deeds. As a rule, the cause is the load of accumulated and unfulfilled promises, planned and not done deeds, set and not realized tasks. Finally try to distribute these "debts" to yourself and others - it is possible that thinking and living after that will become freer, easier and calmer.
- information filter. The media have long been called the fourth estate for their ability to influence the thoughts, actions and emotional state of the recipients. In order not to be a mindless perceiving mass, consciously filter out deliberately false, negative and biased data that enters your inner world from the outside. Get news from trusted sources, and don’t even look at the rest, so as not to be upset again. Instead, focus on constructive facts: educational books and films, quality literary works, and so on.
- Voice. The human voice influences emotional responses much more than you might think. Its volume, timbre, tonality cause certain reactions both in the environment and in ourselves. To use this natural tool, try to speak more quietly and more slowly than usual. You will notice that in such a voice you do not want to speak harsh, rude words, it has to comprehend what was said. They will begin to listen to you, and you yourself will begin to enjoy what, how, when and to whom you say.
How to be balanced?
redundant experiences lead the body to diseases First of all, you seem to be in a stressful, depressed state.
Therefore, you need to control your emotions, negative manifestations of feelings must also be eliminated from your behavior.
You need to strive in your behavior to balance and tranquility.. This is one of the principles healthy lifestyle.
Positive emotions, joy create a healthy beginning in the body. This is what you need to strive for, to teach children be balanced, calmly communicate without raised tones, without splashing out negativity on others.
Of course, positive emotions in a person prevail only when a person has a sense of satisfaction with his environment, his relatives, etc.
Any dissatisfaction contributes to the appearance of a psychological imbalance in the soul. And it follows you along the path of life.
What to do in cases of imbalance? How to be balanced?
Folk methods of restoring health, the experience of psychologists say that you need to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Namely, there must be a healthy psychological principle in all relationships.
After all, you can make an elephant out of a fly. This is what happens often when dealing with unbalanced people. So what is better, to be constantly explosive or to somehow correct your character?
It helps me when I analyze the situation. Find out for yourself what makes me feel dissatisfied?
You need to plan some action to get away from this state.
Correct, through actions, by talking in kind terms with your relatives, if they create any problems for you. Balance is a sign of human culture. Therefore, be aware of this, turn on your mind and resolve issues in a calmer state towards the problem.
To eradicate negative character traits from the character, such as envy, greed, hatred, laziness. The more you cultivate such manifestations of character, the worse it will be for you.
And laziness needs to be driven out of life in general, the more order there is around you, in life, in everyday life, in business, the more satisfaction will come to you. Therefore, organization is needed in all matters.
For me, for example, the highest spiritual state, joy, gives a state when everything is put on all shelves, everything is ideal, everything is thought out. At home, in relationships with loved ones, with acquaintances. Bring joy and kindness to people, and all this will return to you a hundredfold.
That is, you need to constantly work on yourself, improve yourself physically and spiritually. As a child, your parents do it; as an adult, you yourself must work on your improvement. It is very important.
Do not live by gravity, the day has passed, how you lived it - everything is important, everything should be directed towards the satisfaction of life.
So if you decide to be balanced in all cases of your life should be:
Incorporate common sense into your behavior.
Stop being nervous and have elevated tone in relationships with your family, this is just an unnecessary expenditure of vital energy.
If you are unable to earn a living for objective reasons (I have a lot of friends, acquaintances, excellent employees, professionals, excellent people in communication, in relation to their duties, but there is no work), you should not despair. Transfer the fulcrum to your family .. Put things in order in the apartment, repair everything. Perhaps gardening, because many of you live in the countryside. In cities, the situation is somewhat better with work. Move the fulcrum to your health, you may need to improve it. Physical culture, a healthy lifestyle is a huge layer of restoring your health. Think, seek, knock, and "it will be opened to you."
Will, if you have a bad state of mind, show will. Change your inner attitude towards those factors that rock your emotions and which you cannot change. Develop philosophical attitudes towards the many inevitable events of life.
Be even and calm about your achievements and your failures. Both that, and another in a life are lessons. Analyze and move forward.
Be restrained in internal assessments of politicians and other people. They came to Earth to solve their problems. It is possible that they are deeply wrong from your point of view, but you cannot re-educate everyone, and you will not re-do them. Therefore, correct the situation in your family. And let others think for themselves how to act in different situations.
Watch your mood, do not rejoice and do not worry beyond measure.
Be critical of TV viewing, watch what balances you. And get rid of the things that annoy you. Great works of art elevate the soul, and aggressive television series, which now fill the screens of 50 channels (I have a plate of Tricolor TV), alas, do not add either health, or intelligence, or knowledge, or anything.
Get yourself a pet, they are very helpful in creating joy in the soul. They are smart, affectionate, devoted, grateful. Most importantly, they will never offend you. My Barsik, for example, loves me to the limit. And a smart girl, what white light has never seen. Even, at the memory of him, I begin to smile sweetly, and quiet joy returns to my soul. And most importantly, this is a psychologist not only in relation to you, but also to your entire family. Everyone loves him and everyone is happy.
If you are engaged in creativity, then this is what you need to bring your state of mind into a balanced or sublime one. So look.
In a previous post, I gave what herbs will help you come to peace of mind. That's why. If you cannot get out of this state with the help of your will, common sense, use herbal medicine.
Perhaps the tips given in the post will help you maintain balance, maintain health.
You need to understand that a balanced person is promoted by success, luck. He looks more confident, causes positive emotions in others. So strive for peace, and many things in your life will change for the better.
First, decide if you can really handle the problem; if you can't do anything about it, just put it out of your head. If you can do something, try to do it in stages, step by step. An attempt to solve in one fell swoop, for example, the problem of "all the hungry in the world" can strain the strength of any person. There is an old riddle: “How can you eat an elephant? “You need to cut off a small piece and eat.” "Take" a small piece of the problem and solve it first. Then move on to the next one. Ray Kroc, the man who turned McDonald's into a multi-billion dollar hamburger chain, spoke of how he solves his problems: “I learned how not to let problems overwhelm me. I refuse to worry about more than one thing at a time and don't let useless worrying about anything keep me from sleeping."
2. Let go of any worry.
Practice techniques to “unload” your brain from fears, hatred, fearfulness, regrets and remorse. Imagine visually how everything that causes your anxiety and excitement gradually disappears from view, becomes smaller and smaller in size, and finally disappears completely (even a simple attempt to do this will bring relief). Blame on someone you trust all those troubling questions that are on your mind, and you'll immediately notice that you've gained a more rational, objective perspective. Write down all your worries on a piece of paper and make a firm decision to return to these issues at another, more appropriate time.
One of my acquaintances, whose father died many years ago, told me that all these years he was tormented by anger and indignation towards the deceased. His father was an alcoholic and naturally made his family's life a living hell. Trying to somehow leave it all behind, a friend turned to me for help. I advised him to write a letter to his father, express in it all his anger, all his grievances, feelings and indignation, bring this letter to his father's grave and burn it there. Such an act had a healing effect on my acquaintance: he gave vent to his emotions, let off steam, forgave his father, forgot about his indignation and began to live on.
This method also works in reverse. That is, sometimes we should seek forgiveness.
Once, when I was in college, I took part in an "interfaith weekend" organized by the Catholic Church. One evening we were gathered in a dimly lit room and had a conversation about the importance of seeking and asking for forgiveness for all the sins, for all the bad things that we do throughout our lives. We were asked to write about all the bad things we could think of on small postcard type cards (it must be said that some of them took quite a lot of them!). When we finished the work, all the cards were attached to a large wooden cross, symbolizing love and forgiveness. Then, one by one, we removed our cards from the cross and burned them at its foot. Even now, more than twenty years later, I still feel the silence in which we wrote all this. And when our “sins” were engulfed in a cleansing flame, in a room full of almost adult men, one could hear sobs and sniffles. We hid our eyes from each other and passed packets of paper handkerchiefs to each other. It was catharsis - cleansing and healing. Each of us experienced an amazing, unforgettable moment. This exercise may well be transferred to a business environment, business communication and give similar results - only instead of burning notes, you can send them to a paper shredder.
3. Deal with the physical symptoms of stress as quickly as possible.
Watch closely for physical signs of stress. The first signs of a loss of calmness can be felt like this: pressure in the chest, trembling, stiffness of the cheekbones and heaviness in the neck, teeth grinding, etc. Elimination of physical symptoms will prevent further complications. Severe physical symptoms can very quickly become problems in their own right. Initial physical problems can be easily overcome with simple breathing exercises and relaxation. Regular exercise is also an excellent way to manage physical symptoms.
4. Take advantage of your faith and focus.
Faith plays an important role in peace. Let me remind you that faith is trust in yourself, others and/or a higher spiritual power in order to receive support and guidance when needed. Sometimes, in order to overcome an obstacle that disturbs our peace, the advice of a trusted friend, reliable consultant, mentor or priest is enough. Many people are afraid to ask for help: it seems to them a sign of weakness. If you believe in a higher spiritual power, then I highly recommend that you strengthen your relationship with it. For me personally, keeping in touch with God through prayer, meditation, and reading the Bible has always been the surest path to peace.
Increasing focus, concentration is also very important. When you try to do too many things at once, you become distracted and disorganized. On the contrary, regular planning and prioritization of our work brings a sense of control into our lives, streamlines our thoughts and helps to avoid stress.
5. Watch how you talk to yourself and others.
When you wake up in the morning, tune in to a peaceful, contented and calming wave and take a positive look at life. It is important to eliminate all negative ideas from all your conversations - they lead to tension and stress. Remember: the words we speak have a certain effect on our thoughts, and they, in turn, affect our feelings and actions.
6. Strive for more balance in your life.
Achieving life balance (balance) can be a difficult task for you. If you are like most people, you have probably noticed that if you pay attention to one side of life - for example, a career, then you inevitably have to sacrifice others - say, personal relationships (with your “other half”, children, friends, etc.). d.). A balanced life is not a static concept. Rather, it is a living, dynamic and constantly changing (sometimes unexpected) phenomenon.
The main thing is to simply identify the most important components of life balance (spirituality, relationships, money, career, education, health, etc.) and be able to prioritize them according to their relative importance. Once you have this list of priorities, it immediately becomes easier to evaluate how we really live in comparison with how we would like to live, after which it is easy to make the necessary correction.
The restraining force requires the application of tremendous self-discipline, although at first glance it contradicts what we think is the basis of success: we associate progress with activity and speed. But the restraining force is very important and, if applied effectively, produces powerful results.
