Energy of anger. Anger. Jupiter, you're angry, so you're wrong? Psychology in anger manifests the true attitude

Anger as an emotion is negatively perceived by people. A person in anger rarely controls himself, as in principle and with the manifestations of other feelings. However, anger makes a person act badly towards those he is offended by. The feeling in question has reasons for its appearance and methods of control. How to deal with anger is the main topic of this article.

Many people confuse anger with aggression. However, these concepts are different. The emotion that a person experiences is the same - there is indignation, indignation at what is happening. However, anger differs in the way it manifests itself.

Anger can be defined as the internal state of a person who is offended, dissatisfied with something, hates. Aggression is often associated with violence. If during anger a person tries to offend his offender, then during aggression he seeks to cause him physical or material harm.

In themselves, these emotions are similar, but there are differences. You can read all about aggression on the psychological help website psymedcare.com.

What is anger?

It is not difficult to recognize anger, as it often occurs in people who are unhappy with something. What is anger? This is a negative emotion, which is expressed in a flash of indignation and indignation at what is happening. Anger is a harbinger of aggression, when a person directly proceeds to commit negative acts.

We can say that anger is an emotion, and aggression is a violent action.

During anger, a person turns off his rational thinking, the rules of decency and morality. Instinctive mechanisms are turned on when a person directs destructive energy to the address of what caused his anger. In rare cases, a person controls himself, because often he believes that he is doing the right thing in a state of anger. He is not wrong, but other people should be punished for the offense they caused him.

Anger is an emotion of an aggressive nature, a direction towards an animate or inanimate object with the aim of destroying, suppressing or subjugating it. This negative emotion cannot last long. However, it completely covers the human consciousness, subordinating it to itself:

• The muscles of the face and body tense up.
• Fists and teeth are clenched.
• The face is on fire.
• The body tenses like a string.
• Everything is boiling inside.

At any moment, a person can explode, and the sensations that he experiences are like a “boiling kettle”, which is already whistling and ready to catch fire.

Anger is one way people communicate. Being dissatisfied with their own lives, people splash it out on everyone who just touches them with something. Naturally, the response will be the same anger or even more, since the feelings of other people are already hurt. It turns out a vicious circle, when some splash out anger because of their own discontent on those who respond with the same anger that causes discontent of the first.

Anger has become the norm of modern society. However, this does not change the fact that anger radiates negative energy and leads to various kinds of disorders. Despite the danger and undesirability of communicating through anger, people continue to express it at every opportunity. And in all this confusion, it is very important to skillfully use that feeling that usually destroys a person and his life. It is important to learn to understand the nature of anger and be able to manage it for your own good.

Reasons for anger

When you observe the angry behavior of another person, the natural question arises: “Why are you angry?”. What are the causes of anger that so covers a person that he stops reasoning, thinking and remaining calm?

Anger is classified as a negative emotion, because in the conditions of the modern world, this expression of feelings is unacceptable. However, anger is a natural, natural feeling that is aimed at the survival of a living entity. If a person did not get angry, then he could not protect himself, his property or relatives.

However, over time, social foundations have changed, rules and frameworks have been invented that now restrain people in their natural manifestations. Anger cannot be eradicated from a person, because it continues to preserve his life, integrity and rights. However, society does not accept the expression of anger, since it is often associated with the commission of bad deeds that infringe on the rights and freedoms of others.

Psychologists identify the main cause of anger - this is aggression that occurs on an external stimulus. Sometimes anger can be provoked by fear and other negative emotions. The body begins to produce a large amount of energy, the pulse quickens, the skin turns pale or red. All of these are natural manifestations of anger.

Anything can lead to a state of anger and anger:

• Getting a bad grade in school.
• Criticism of a loved one.
• Rejection of feelings and refusal to create love relationships.
• Salary delay.
• Dismissal.
• Aggressive attitude of others.
• Infringement of human freedom, etc.

People have a negative attitude to anger, because under its influence a person rarely controls his actions. And in a state of anger, you can only do bad things - harm or commit violence. In a cultural society, this behavior infringes on the rights and freedoms of others, so there is constant propaganda that anger should be controlled.

A common cause of anger is called frustration - when a person cannot achieve his goals due to external circumstances or interference caused by another individual. Frustration is failure, disappointment, lack of purpose. A person in this situation is angry at those people or circumstances that have become obstacles in achieving the desired.

Often, anger is directed towards removing these obstacles. It can be both verbal and physical.

Another reason for anger can be a situation where a person succumbs to moral pressure. This phenomenon is common in modern society. How else can you express your anger in a cultured society where any physical abuse is punished? Only words in the form of criticism and dissatisfaction. People have already learned how to skillfully operate with words and put pressure on others so that they have a natural feeling of anger when their freedom, rights and dignity are suppressed.

Attachment to the person who offends often plays an important role in the emergence of anger. If a loved one refuses, offends, shows disrespect for the feelings of a partner, then there is internal indignation, resentment, anger. The more expected of the other person, the stronger the anger becomes when expectations are not met.

Strong anger leads to nervous exhaustion. Therefore, first of all, one should learn to cope with anger by the person who experiences it.

Anger management

Modern society is arranged in such a way that respect, good nature, calmness, etc. are acceptable manifestations of people. Such a feeling as anger is one of those manifestations that should be suppressed. That is why there is an active development of methods for managing one's own anger.

Unfortunately, people still cannot manage anger, which is quite natural:

1. It is impossible to suppress what is given to man by nature. Fighting anger is like fighting your own appetite. Sooner or later, a person will not stand it and will break.
2. It is impossible to get rid of what subjugates a person. While the individual is in a state of anger, he completely surrenders to his own feelings.
3. You can't fight what feels right. No man will give up what feels right to him. Only at the end of the action of anger can he see the negative aspects of his actions.

Anger management is possible only when the person himself, in a state of anger, does not want to succumb to his own emotions and does not consider it right to commit bad deeds. In this case, you can use all the exercises that psychologists offer.

Negative emotion appears in a situation where it seems that something is wrong and should be corrected. At the stage of the initial appearance of emotion, a person faces an unconscious choice: to calm down and go into decline, or to succumb to anger and reach a state of rage. It is at this moment that anger can be controlled before it has consumed the person.

If the individual succumbs to his own anger, then he experiences and performs many actions:

• Nerves are compressed, there is a feeling of lack of air.
• There is a desire to fight, crush, break, jump, run, etc.
• There is a surge of discontent and indignation.
• The voice becomes hoarse and choked.

Society condemns precisely the actions that a person commits in a state of passion. After all, under the influence of anger, he commits destructive acts. That is why it is recommended to move away from an aggressive or angry person until he throws out all his emotions.

Anger is sometimes divided by gender:

• Male aggression is perceived as a manifestation of strength.
• Female aggression is considered a manifestation of weakness and irrationality.

Although we are talking about the same causes and manifestations of anger. Only in society is one sex allowed to manifest it, while the other is prohibited.

Anger quickly arises and just as quickly passes. Society's attitude towards him is based solely on the actions that a person performs in a state of anger. If they bring destruction and pain to others, then anger was bad. If a person has done a noble deed, then people praise him.

Anger manifests itself in all people. However, in order to control its expression, various manipulative slogans are invented. For example, it is believed that a person matures when he learns to manage anger. In other words, it is beneficial for society that people seek to restrain their natural emotion, which disturbs the peace of citizens.

How to deal with anger?

Should I learn to manage my anger? This question must be answered by each himself. It is worth noting only one advantage that a person receives when he learns to cope with anger - he can now control his actions in any situation.

To cope with anger, it is necessary to stop its development at any stage.

1. First, you can stop anger at the stage of the appearance of a situation that causes negative emotions. You can end a conversation with a person who is annoying. You can briefly leave the room where unpleasant events occur. As soon as you feel that you are starting to be aggressive, you should isolate yourself from the negative situation.
2. Secondly, you can stop anger at the stage when it either subsides or starts to rage. Tell yourself that you don't want to be angry, and start doing whatever you can to help you do that.

Additional techniques to eliminate anger can be:

• Listening to calm music.
• Restoration of breathing.
• Seclusion for the purpose of relaxation.
• Relaxation of all muscles of the body.
• Thinking about the situation in order to solve it, and not to find the guilty ones.
• Meditation.
• Mental movement to places where it is pleasant to be.
• Switching attention.

Train yourself to see in anger not a personal insult, but the natural aggressiveness and savagery of people. People are not trained to manage their anger, so they use it like little children who are just naughty because they didn’t like something.

If something annoys you, you should not accumulate it in yourself - say it in a non-rude and human way. Your task is not to swallow your own anger in order to be civilized outwardly. You must learn to get rid of the charge of negative energy through calm speaking.

How to make your anger noble?

1. Admit that you are angry.
2. Understand your anger. What are the reasons for its occurrence? What made you angry?
3. Use your anger to your advantage. Focus on solving the problem and use anger as a source of energy for further action.

Make your anger a helper that will accompany you until you solve the problem that has arisen. Indeed, in the whole situation, when something annoys you, the important thing is that there was just some kind of problem. And as long as you spend your energy and time expressing dissatisfaction with the other person, you are not solving the problem. You are trying to offend, blame, humiliate someone, but this has nothing to do with the situation that made you angry. It is better to direct your anger towards solving the problem, and not just offending the other person.

Outcome

Speaking about anger management, people often point out that it is necessary to suppress it. However, scientists say the opposite: the result of suppressed emotions can be psychosomatic diseases associated with the cardiovascular system. Heart attacks and strokes are often associated with unexpressed negative emotions.

At the same time, there is an opinion that anger cannot be expressed every time it appears. Because a person develops the habit of not holding back his emotions, but freely pouring them out on others. In turn, the aggressive person begins to enjoy the suffering of others, which in the future causes him to provoke or look for situations where he can again be aggressive.

What to do with your own emotions, in any case, it is up to each person to decide. However, it should be understood that the constant experience of negative emotions leads to serious diseases that can affect life expectancy.

ANGER
IRRITATION

You are calmly walking down the street in a good mood. True, you are a little late for an important meeting and therefore slightly quicken your pace. But suddenly someone with great force pushes you in the back, and out of surprise you drop the newspapers you just bought on the ground, as it turns out, in a puddle. You stop in a spoiled mood. At this point, a car passing at high speed sprays your suit from top to bottom. A feeling of deep annoyance seizes you. You are breathing rapidly, blood has rushed to your face, and if someone at that moment saw you, they would pay attention to your pretty reddened face with walking jaws. You feel the familiar feeling of anger, and it takes a long time for you to sort yourself out.

Isn't it a familiar feeling? Psychologists say that about one-tenth of the time of a human life falls on the emotions of irritation, aggression and anger. The role of anger in our daily behavior is very large. The most diverse minds of antiquity spoke about the destructive influence of anger on consciousness, soul and actions. The harm of anger for a spiritual being in a person was noted by world religions and esoteric teachings of East and West - Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, Theosophy. The teaching of Agni Yoga speaks of the biochemical harm to the body that is caused by anger. It turns out that the emotions of anger lead to the formation of a substance in the body - imperil, which clogs the nerve channels and pollutes the human energy body. The opinion of esoteric teachings coincides with the point of view of the modern psychosomatic direction of medicine, which is convinced that a huge number of diseases are of psychogenic origin and are generated by negative emotions.

True, not all types of anger are subject to obstruction in the world spiritual culture. Sometimes they speak of noble anger. Let us recall Homer with his famous phrase that began the Iliad: "Anger, O goddess, sing Achilles, the son of Peleus..." In the domestic spiritual tradition there is the concept of "the breadth of Russian righteous anger", meaning a special psychological state into which a warrior who conquers enemy. The same Agni Yoga, which denies anger as a manifestation of malice, recognizes the correctness and even the necessity of such a feeling as indignation of the spirit, without which evil cannot be overcome by mild means.

However, we are not interested in these manifestations of the warlike nature of the spirit, which in their essence involve the participation of consciousness to a much greater extent. For any person, it is much more interesting to understand what anger is in its base, aggressively selfish basis and try to get rid of it. The emotion of human anger in origin goes back to the animal world, whose representatives, faced with dangers, face a choice - to flee or counterattack. An effective counterattack requires a reinforcement impulse in the form of a powerful negative emotion of anger, which in many animals, especially predators, is genetically fixed as a reflex reaction. Anger performs a protective function, protecting the species from the threat of destruction.

In human society, anger performs not only a protective role, but also the function of expanding energy, aspirations and achievements, sometimes bright and creative, sometimes dark and destructive. "Life is expansion," one well-known Russian businessman rightly remarked, defending himself with the help of intrigue and anger from any attempts to convict him of involvement in the export of capital abroad. The implementation of new life programs is accompanied by obstacles and threats from other people, and therefore needs protection. However, the best defense is an attack, a means that is fueled from the inside by the emotion of anger. An attack devoid of anger has little momentum. In addition, anger has the task of releasing tension. A person striving for a goal is faced with an obstacle that cannot be overcome easily and without loss. If such obstacles are encountered frequently, then a person develops tension, which is discharged through outbursts of anger.

Ancient teachings claimed that the tendency to anger is not just a character trait, but also belonging to a certain human type. Hindus believed that all people initially belong to different qualities (gunas) of cosmic matter. Some of them belong to the mode of inertia (tamas), others to the mode of activity (rajas), others to the mode of balance and spiritual wisdom (sattva).

People who are prone to anger are rajasic, passionate people. The deepest cause of anger lies in their habit of reacting violently to any disagreements that arise in them at the moment when something in life suddenly does not go as they expected. People accustomed to such a violent reaction could be found in any era among any people and at any rung of the social ladder.

When the rulers were angry, they cut off the heads, and when the waves of anger took possession of the slaves, they rebelled.

The property of anger was inherent in many people in Russia, it is enough to recall Russian history and Pushkin's words "about the Russian rebellion, senseless and merciless." True, Russian anger, despite its stormy manifestations, is most often short, quick-witted. Having committed a stupid deed or a terrible crime in anger, our compatriot, whoever he was, usually deeply repented. Let us recall the famous case of the murder of a son, which happened to Ivan the Terrible.

In general, great people, not only in Russia, but all over the world, were subject to outbursts of anger. Let's remember Napoleon, Benvenutto Cellini, Pablo Picasso, Salvador Dali.

Anger is quite often a natural feeling of a person, a product of heredity. In this case, this feeling is associated with the peculiarities of the astral body, which has a tendency to an instant violent reaction when a person starts up with a half turn.

According to esoteric teachings, the mother gives the astral body to a person. Therefore, in order to understand what a person is and what are the reasons for his anger, it is sometimes useful to look at his mother. The proverb "the apple does not fall far from the tree" works brilliantly in relation to the hereditary theory of anger. In angry families, people often quarrel because they easily induce each other with outbursts of anger.

Although most people seem to understand the harmful, destructive nature of anger, and this is confirmed by science, which derives a number of diseases from this emotion, nevertheless, it hardly makes sense to unequivocally talk about the need for its complete expulsion from life. Of course, an excess of anger is very harmful, but its complete absence will not be useful for a person living in the world. This was recognized even by such a peaceful sage of India as Ramakrishna. It was he who told the world about the benefits of anger (of course, in reasonable doses) for self-defense in his famous parable about the sage, the boys and the snake. The poor snake, which misunderstood the sage's advice to be peaceful and conquer anger, was punished by the boys, who took advantage of her weakness and beat her.

From the point of view of the esoteric teachings of India, a householder living in the world and forced to protect his family must have at least a small degree of rajasic energy, which naturally contains anger. This is especially important for people whose activities are close to the military sphere - without rajas and healthy anger, they simply would not be able to fulfill their duties.

It was not for nothing that in some eastern countries in ancient times it was a custom before a battle to feed warriors with the liver of a freshly killed rooster, which had previously been driven into a rage. Recall the front-line 100 grams, which have the same function of increasing the power of just anger, giving fearlessness, and the words of the then beloved national song: "Let the noble rage boil like a wave" - ​​all this confirms that Russia was not accidentally called the country of warriors.

Anger is a fundamental human emotion that was given for the purpose of enabling the individual to survive in a wild and dangerous environment. Even in ancient times, anger helped people a lot, many obstacles were overcome. However, society developed, the need to express their negative emotions gradually decreased. It was not possible to completely get rid of anger, people in the modern world continue to artificially create troubles for themselves that arouse anger.

The meaning of the word "anger"

This is a negative emotion. You can even say that it has an aggressive character and is directed towards another person or object. If this is an object, then an individual can easily destroy it, if a person - offend, subdue.

Anger is when everything starts to boil and boil inside, the face turns red. It looks like a real bomb is about to explode. All hatred, all resentment accumulates - they cause negative consequences. The most dangerous thing is that in anger a person cannot always control his emotions. Sometimes everything comes to aggression, the individual is in and does not understand what he is doing. At times like this, it's better to have no one around. With a clouded mind, you can do anything, harm and even cripple.

Usually aggression does not last long. It's an instant impulse. A person quickly lights up and quickly fades away. However, anger is no joke. If the individual is frequently affected by this emotion, it is best to consult a physician.

Anger: what are the causes?

Aggression accumulates in a person for various reasons. Perhaps something did not go according to plan at work, at home it is difficult to find a common language with a loved one. The definition (what anger means) hardly conveys all the feelings that a person experiences during a breakdown. Even an elementary trifle can sometimes lead to an “internal explosion”. What are the causes of anger?

1. Contrasting Beliefs

The character of a person begins to form from childhood. We are all brought up differently, everyone is taught something, something is explained. This forms in a person the concept of morality, rules, principles. However, the beliefs of one individual do not always correspond to the rules of behavior of another. The brain is programmed like a computer, and when the system encounters an unknown concept, it starts to slow down. So is man. If he meets a belief that is not like what he is used to, he perceives this as a threat, a danger. As a result, anger wakes up - an emotion that definitely does not decorate us.

2. Fear

Another reason for aggression is subconscious fear. It is worth noting that in the modern world, a person very often creates problems for himself. Let's take a simple example. The man got a good job, everything is going great. However, for some reason, he begins to fear that he will be fired. All these feelings gather inside and turn into manic fear. What happens next? The boss calls the employee to him to point out a mistake or praise. At this time, something begins to happen in a person’s thoughts - all feelings are sharply intensified, he winds up that the boss is calling to him to fire him. As a result, anger is provoked. This is not surprising, a person perceives fear as a danger.

3. Stress

Stress is most often experienced by people with good manners. Surprisingly, this is true. Such individuals do not express their negative emotions, everything accumulates inside - resentment, pain, fear. A person tries to be correct, does not be rude to others, does not raise his voice, does not show his displeasure. You can not do it this way. You can't hide everything inside, because one day "the bomb will explode." This cannot be avoided. What is anger? This is a huge amount of negative emotions that accumulate in the soul over time. If you do not speak out from time to time, then the day will come when a person will simply break loose and turn from a decent individual into a real beast.

4. Feeling good

No matter how strange it may sound, the cause of anger can be a person. Illness, aching pain that you have to endure - all this negatively affects self-control and creates the prerequisites for a sharp change in mood. The end result is anger and rage. A person simply begins to annoy everything around, it seems that everyone wants to harm him. Here everything is woven into one knot - stress, fear, beliefs.

How to conquer anger?

Anger is as much a human emotion as joy or sadness. It is completely impossible to get rid of it. Even if someone succeeds, the individual feels inferior. The peculiarity of the human essence lies in the fact that he must show all his emotions in order to learn self-control. Anger is not the best emotion, there are several ways to protect yourself from sudden outbursts of rage so as not to harm others.

1. Learn to listen to yourself

Anger always has a precursor. This may be a bad mood, well-being or irritability. You need to learn to listen to yourself and see these moments in order to avoid a sudden outburst of rage. For example, you are talking to a person and you feel how everything starts to boil inside. This means that you start to get angry. How to proceed in such a case? There are several options for the development of events:

• change the topic, perhaps it is she who awakens negative emotions;
• end the conversation.

If you notice behind yourself that rage has been experienced more and more often lately, this is an alarm signal. What is anger? This is a violation. Keep a small notebook and write down all situations that make you irritable. At the end of the week, you need to analyze the records. If you yourself see that anger sometimes wakes up from scratch, then you can’t let everything take its course. Maybe you just need a rest? Take a day off, spend it alone with your inner world. Read a book, take a bath, relax.

2. Control and good rest

Sometimes, in a fit of anger, a person can commit a terrible act, which he will later regret unspeakably. To avoid this, it is very important to learn to control your emotions. This does not mean that emotions now need to be suppressed. If you suddenly begin to feel irritation inside, try to take a deep breath and exhale several times - breathing exercises calm the nervous system.

Another interesting option for controlling anger is recommended by psychologists. So, you managed to restrain yourself and not break into your interlocutor. Now we urgently go home or to another secluded place. We take a piece of paper and write a letter to the person who caused a violent negative reaction in you. Write whatever you feel. The more rage on paper, the calmer it will become in the soul. Then this letter must be burned.

Of course, it is important to remember about rest. The modern rhythm of life rarely leaves time to sleep. However, still find an extra hour or two a week for this. Fatigue can also cause an outburst of rage.

3. Exercise

It has been repeatedly proven that exercise has a great effect on the nervous system. Sign up for yoga, fitness or any other sport - several times a week will be enough for a person to splash out accumulated negative emotions.

Sometimes there is no time for sports. However, this does not mean that now you cannot get rid of rage. Cleaning around the house will help a lot - it's even better than fitness. A person concentrates on dirt, dust, how to get rid of it. There is a frenzied physical and mental stress. Psychologists confirm that cleaning is soothing. The person is satisfied with the work done, and the rage evaporates.

An easy way to calm down is with balloon breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale 10-15 times. This exercise can be practiced at work.

Summing up

The psychology of anger is a science that has been studied for a very long time. Every day something new and unknown is discovered in a person.

Helpful Hints:

1. Make time for yourself. You don't have to think only about the people around you. Go shopping, go to the cinema or a cafe. In other words, sometimes you should treat yourself too.
2. Don't create problems for yourself. Try to take things easier and remember: whatever is done is for the best.
3. Rest - at least on weekends, try to sleep well and stock up on energy for the next week, then there will be less reasons for stress.

As for rage, you need to release it, just do it right so as not to harm anyone. This needs to be learned.

Anger is the most toxic emotion
Subjective experiences of anger
Anger is experienced by a person as a rather unpleasant feeling. In anger, a person feels that his blood is “boiling”, his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The mobilization of energy is so great that it seems to a person that he will explode if he does not give vent to his anger in any way. Consciousness shrinks. A person is absorbed in the object to which anger is directed, and does not see anything around. Perception is limited, the functioning of memory, imagination, thinking is disorganized. In a situation of anger, a complex of emotions associated with it dominates: disgust (rejection of harmful objects) and contempt (experience of victory over an opponent as a source of this emotion). Anger and sadness (emotion arises as a reaction to the collapse of hopes, the inability to achieve the desired goal) are activated by similar shifts in neural activity, and the role of sadness is that it reduces the intensity of anger and the emotions of disgust and contempt associated with it. When a person is angry, anger overrides fear. A sense of physical strength and a sense of self-confidence (which is higher than in any other emotionally negative situation) fills a person with courage and courage. A high level of muscle tension (strength), self-confidence and impulsivity generates a readiness for an attack or other forms of physical activity.
Functions of Anger
Anger is one of the basic, fundamental emotions. Anger has played a big role in the survival of man as a species. It increases a person's ability to self-defense, aggressive behavior, and after all, a person, as he evolved, faced a wide variety of obstacles that he had to overcome. However, as civilization developed, a person began to feel less and less need for physical self-defense, and this function of anger was gradually reduced. A modern person should be able to use anger for his own good and the good of people close to him. He often needs to defend himself psychologically, and moderate, regulated anger, mobilizing energy, can help him defend his rights. In this case, his indignation will benefit not only him, but also the violator of the law or the rules established by society, endangering others. On the other hand, inadequate hostility brings suffering not only to the victim, but also to the aggressor. Therefore, this process must be regulated and hostility should not be allowed to cross the permitted boundaries, otherwise the person will be punished with feelings of shame and guilt. Moderate, controlled anger can be used to suppress fear. Possible positive consequences of anger: awareness of one's own mistakes, awareness of one's own strength, strengthening relationships with a former enemy. The latter has long been noticed by psychotherapists who advise people who are angry with each other to “keep the channels of communication open” (C.E. Izard). If a person freely expresses his anger, talks about the reasons that caused it, and allows the interlocutor to respond in kind, then he gains the opportunity to get to know his partner better and thereby strengthen relations with him. Communication between people is destroyed by verbal aggression if a person who feels anger seeks to "defeat" the partner at any cost. Some scientists believe that personality develops precisely because of conflicts and crises. A person rises to new levels of development, accepting the challenges that circumstances throw at him. Crises and their overcoming allow a person to understand himself more deeply. The experience and expression of anger (not to be confused with manifestations of aggression) can have positive consequences in cases where a person maintains sufficient control over himself. However, it must be remembered that any manifestation of anger is associated with a certain amount of risk.
Reasons for anger
The feeling of physical and psychological lack of freedom, as a rule, causes an emotion of anger in a person. People often get angry at all kinds of rules and regulations, because of which they feel constrained by the framework of conventions and unable to achieve the desired goal. Any obstacle to achieving the goal can cause anger. Annoying stimulation can also be a source of anger: unexpected pain, bad smells, exposure to heat, hunger, fatigue, discomfort, etc. It happens that anger causes long-term sadness. Feelings of disgust may be accompanied by anger. Anger is often accompanied by other feelings, the triad of hostility anger, disgust, contempt. Anger can also interact with the emotions of guilt and fear (the more fear, the less anger, and vice versa). The source of anger can be the thought of a mistake, injustice, undeserved resentment. Anger, for example, is caused by inflicted insults. And here the role is played not so much by the actions themselves, but by their interpretation, which causes anger (in the one who interprets these actions). Some actions cause a person to feel anger towards himself, others activate anger directed at the environment. Anger is contagious. Induced anger occurs in the process of perceiving the external manifestations of the partner's anger. Thus, anger, like any other emotion, can be activated by actions, thoughts, feelings (K.E. Izard).
Anger and aggression
Aggression refers to verbal and physical actions of an offensive or harmful nature. Whether anger will lead to aggressive actions or not depends on a number of individual characteristics of a particular person and on the situation in which he is. Aggressive behavior is due to a number of factors. The emotion of anger does not necessarily generate aggressive behavior. Most people, when they experience anger, most often suppress or significantly reduce the tendency to act, both verbally and physically. Anger creates a readiness for action, but does not force action. However, the frequent experience of anger increases the likelihood of some forms of aggressive behavior. The behavior of the aggressor is influenced by the very fact of the physical presence or absence of the victim. Hostility can be moderated by those at whom it is directed, both by an expression of threat and by an expression of submissiveness. In some cases, people can prevent a potential aggressor from attacking by showing fear and submissiveness and avoiding threatening actions. In other cases, on the contrary, the expression of a threat can prevent the further development of aggression. However, if a potential aggressor perceives himself as a winner, then the manifestation of anger on the part of a potential victim can provoke even more aggression. Neither manifestations of anger nor manifestations of aggression depend on age, which allows us to consider them as personality traits. The level of aggressiveness is, apparently, an innate characteristic of the individual and, as he grows up, acquires the character of a stable personality trait. Aggressiveness is often associated with sexual potency. Many people view aggressiveness as a sign of masculinity. However, this relationship is due not only to biological, but also to cultural factors.
Anger experienced by patients and healthcare workers
Patients experience pain, discomfort, because of their ill health they feel restrictions in their professional and personal life, they often suffer from the thought: “Why do I need all this? It's not fair!" Often they believe that doctors do not want or, because of their low qualifications, do not know how to alleviate their situation, and they direct their anger at them. The patient is convinced that he is obliged to be cured in this medical institution or sent to another. Here the source of anger is the conviction that doctors can alleviate suffering, but for some reason they do not. If he had admitted that the doctors are doing their best under these conditions and are not able to do more today, then perhaps he would not have experienced anger. There are many reasons for patients to feel anger, and it is not always due to the behavior of the nurse, although it is very often directed at her. The nurse needs to understand this. On the one hand, she needs to monitor her behavior so as not to actualize anger in her patients, and on the other hand, if the patient is angry with her, then one should not succumb to guilt. The reason for the patient's anger is the situation in which he is. It is important not to become infected with the patient’s anger, not to respond with anger to anger (“I try, I do everything I can, the salary is negligible, but he is still unhappy!”), otherwise you can fall into a vicious circle, which is very difficult to get out of. The patient's anger is (in a statistical sense) a common thing, no matter how well he is cared for. However, if uncontrolled anger attacks become more frequent (and this is dangerous for his own health), then the regulated anger of the nurse can reduce the level of anger he experiences (by activating fear). And the nurse has many reasons for anger. But she's a professional. And if the patient does not always know how to control his emotions, then she must be able to do something with them, while protecting her own health. At the same time, the nurse can use anger for the benefit of the patient. For example, if he is experiencing excessive sadness or fear, then it is useful to make him angry in order to get him out of his depression. The nurse has to develop the ability to self-defense in order to control her anger, not be infected by the anger of others and develop the appropriate social skills for this.
Consequences of Suppressing Outward Expressions of Anger
The ban on manifestations (facial expressions, intonation, verbal aggression, etc.) of the emotion of anger can disrupt the adaptation of the individual, interfere with clarity of thinking. A person who constantly suppresses his anger and is unable to adequately express it is at risk of psychosomatic disorders (Kholit, 1970). Unexpressed anger is considered by psychoanalysts as an etiological factor (although not the only one) of such diseases as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraine, Raynaud's disease and hypertension. How to control your anger Do not treat your anger with condemnation. It activates the impulses that come from our being. In a state of anger, a wave of energy rushes in search of an outlet. It can not only be contained (chronic containment is dangerous to health), but also transformed. It is important that a person manages his anger, and not anger manages a person. Technologies aimed at controlling one's emotions, in particular anger, are relevant. The expression of anger and related behavior can be constructive if a person overcome by anger wants to establish, restore or maintain positive relationships with others. He must show others how he perceives the situation and how it makes him feel. It is important to express your feelings sincerely and unambiguously. This form of behavior creates the possibility of open two-way communication, in which there can be no “loser”. However, such communication is possible if the level of anger does not go off scale. It is useful to use express methods to reduce the level of tension caused by anger. So, if anger gives rise to aggression, and sadness gives rise to empathy, then by causing an angry person sympathy for the victim (stimulating his feelings of sadness) or fear (threatening him), you can thereby reduce the level of his situational aggressiveness. Anger involves preparing the body for physical action, which means that you need to offer the body physical relaxation. Physical activity in this case returns the body to a state of equilibrium. You can also use meditation techniques aimed at relaxing the body. Rational nutrition, sleep, and body hygiene help reduce the intensity of the experienced anger. It is useful to make a list of people whose anger causes you induced anger and avoid contact with them. Reflections: “How would I feel if I were the victim of my aggression?” subdue anger; thought: “If I had not been overcome with anger, what would be the most rational way to behave in this difficult situation for me? » models behavior for the future. Thinking about the questions: “Due to the blockage of what desire of mine did I become angry? What obstacles prevent me from satisfying this desire? "dissolves" anger. Everyone has their own tricks that are useful for him to tame his anger. You can ask how colleagues deal with their anger at work, how they protect themselves when they are in the presence of an angry person. Also useful is the technique of self-observation, awareness of one's anger (paying attention to how anger arises, unfolds, stops), which stops the release of anger hormones into the body.
Nadezhda TVOROGOVA, Doctor of Psychology, Professor of MMA. I.N. Sechenov.

Is it worth holding back emotions?
Holding back your emotions can lead to serious health problems. Studies have shown that the suppression of emotions leads to high blood pressure, exhaustion of the immune system and increased pain sensitivity. Such people are in distress, often begin to abuse alcohol or drugs and regard others as their enemies, finding various reasons to justify themselves. Thus, the process of suppressing emotions leads to a change in the mental and physical state of a person. Therefore, experts on emotions recommend not to suppress emotions, say anger or aggressiveness, but to learn how to transform them in a positive direction, say, persistence. In reality, a person experiences anger and / or negative emotions every day, but their positive transformation helps to realize these feelings in a socially acceptable context with the least energy costs for the person himself. In this case, the negative effect of the suppression and repression of emotions will not be realized. Moreover, according to experts, the manifestation (realization) of negative emotions in a controlled mode is even necessary and balances physiological and psychological processes.
Negative emotions are useful if you know how to show them by controlling the process.
Uncontrolled anger can only harm yourself and others, but the ability to vent negative emotions, controlling them, helps to achieve great success, according to Harvard researchers. American scientists conducted a study during which they observed a group of 824 people over 44 years old. Those who were used to experiencing silently and not expressing their emotions were three times more likely to say that they had already reached the ceiling of their career. The head of the project, Professor George Welliant, says that it is generally accepted that anger is a very dangerous emotion and, in order to cope with it, it is recommended to train "positive thinking" that eradicates anger. Scientists have found that this approach is wrong and, in the end, turns against the person himself. Negative emotions, such as fear and anger, are innate and are of great importance, experts say. According to scientists, negative emotions are very important in order to survive. Professor Welliant, who is the director of Study of Adult Development, which published the results of the study, points out that uncontrolled anger is destructive. We all experience anger, but those people who know how to vent their rage while avoiding the dire consequences of unbridled outbursts of anger have achieved great results in terms of emotional growth and mental health, says the professor.
Anger and aggression are bad for the male heart
Manifestations of anger and hostility towards others are significantly associated with a high risk of coronary heart disease in healthy men and lead to an unfavorable outcome of cardiac disorders.
Cardiologists at University College London (UK) determined that feelings of anger and aggression increase the likelihood of coronary heart disease by 19% and 24% among healthy men and men diagnosed with heart problems, respectively. It has been noticed that negative emotions often harm the work of the male heart, and not the female one.
Doctors from the University of Tilburg (Netherlands) who also took part in the study believe that the stressful conditions of everyday life have a detrimental effect on men's heart health and have a significant impact on the development of chronic diseases in the future. According to them, psychological factors play a significant role in the progression of cardiac ischemia, leading to dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system and increasing inflammation due to the activity of C-reactive protein, interleukin-6, cortisol and fibrinogen. Men should take the data seriously and try to control their emotions, doctors say.

Anger management. The revelation of an experienced aggressor

Denis Dubravin
School of Emotional Intelligence

Probably no other topic arouses as much interest and enthusiasm as the topic of anger management. “You need to see a psychologist” or “Go get treated!” is a common prescription for a person who has problems with feelings of anger. For as long as I can remember, I have always had this feeling.

Breakdowns occurred regularly, my emotional nature did not find a place and constructive ways to express this energy. In this regard, I regularly got into various fights, in which I did not always come out the winner. Then I started to practice martial arts, because I understood that without it my outbursts of aggression would not have the desired result. After several years of training at the Tiger Dragon school, under the guidance of my teacher Alexander Sivak, I unexpectedly saw that my ardor began to fade and awareness and the ability to control the course of thoughts and feelings appeared.

Further, it remained to formalize this development into knowledge and reinforce the effectiveness with practice. I will not say that I completely got rid of this feeling, I think that this is impossible. However, during this time I have acquired a number of useful beliefs and techniques that help me in a variety of life situations. Interesting? Then we read on. I propose to move in order, since it is the correct order that is the key to success in curbing this feeling :)

If a person is angry, this indicates that he does not satisfy some important needs. Anger is a destructive feeling that gives a person a lot of energy. Negative energy begins to literally whip over the edge, narrowing the consciousness and adequate perception of reality, at the sight of the object of anger or the mention of it.

Initially, as a rule, but not always, there is a feeling of irritation, which turns into indignation, then into anger, and finally into rage. Anger mobilizes a person's energy, instills in him a sense of confidence and strength, suppresses fear. Anger creates a readiness for action. Perhaps in no other state does a person feel as strong and brave as in a state of anger. In anger, a person feels that his blood is "boiling", his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The feeling of his own strength prompts him to rush forward, to attack the offender. And the stronger his anger, the greater the need for physical action, the more strong and energetic the person feels. Isord

Emotions are an evolutionarily earlier mechanism for regulating behavior than the mind. Therefore, they choose simpler ways to solve life situations.
E.I. Golovakha, N.V. Panina

Anger is an emotion from the category of affects, which means that it can develop in a short time into a feeling of rage, which is inherently very destructive and difficult to control. Therefore, control over this feeling must be at the moment of its very occurrence.

“If an emotion is allowed, it goes free.” N. Kozlov

If anger is not reacted outwardly, it does not disappear. Being “swallowed”, it transforms into resentment, irritability, apathy, etc. Psychosomatic illnesses such as hypertension or diabetes mellitus, the two most common illnesses associated with anger suppression, may also occur.

What is the reason for the anger?

1. The main cause of anger is the infliction of pain. This is a natural reaction of the body, which has been brought to automatism by evolution.

2. Anger can be the result of other feelings. For example, after feelings of sadness, shame, fear. In this case, we can talk about the response to emotional pain.

3. Anger can arise from your thoughts. For example, your assessment of the actions of another person. This may be an unfair attitude to something, deceit, violation of agreements or disrespect.

The issue of anger management is a matter of the right beliefs and tools to help regulate this feeling.

For anger management to become the norm, you need to remember a few basic rules:

12 Rules for Anger Management

1. Decide to take control of your anger. Only by taking responsibility, you can begin to make changes in life. Also indicate why you need to manage this feeling, what opportunities and positive moments will appear thanks to this in your life.

2. Sustainable self-esteem. Take attacks in your direction as useful information. Don't take everything to heart. Find a solid foundation for your self-esteem.

3. Sports. Sports and any physical activity serve as an excellent prophylactic against the emergence of anger. Moreover, you will learn to endure pain and tension, and this will give you extra points in mastering this feeling.

4. Recognize the harbingers. Try to observe yourself when you are irritated: you may notice that your lips, jaw or fists are clenched, your shoulders are tense, your eyebrows are furrowed, etc. By learning to recognize the early warning signs of an impending “storm”, you buy time and will have time to do something.

5. Learning to think in a new way. Our feelings are a reflection of our thoughts. For example, if you are used to thinking in a conflict situation something like “Well, that's it, I can't! I just can't stand it! How long can this go on!?”, then your emotional sphere reacts to such thoughts with an explosion of negative energy.

6. Tolerance and acceptance. One of the most destructive beliefs in our lives (in most cases unconscious) is that everything should be the way we want and immediately. Try to tell yourself more often that other people are not in order to meet your expectations about them. And also that events can develop according to their scenario, regardless of what you think is “right” and “wrong”.

7. Soften the blow. Say to yourself in difficult moments, for example, when someone criticizes you or a neighbor is undergoing repairs: “This gets on my nerves, but this is not fatal.” You will feel your own strength, and you will accept unpleasant events more calmly.

8. Reduce demands on others. Don't expect perfection from people. Highlight the main thing, priority for you, your life and your happiness. Constant "catching fleas" poisons the life of both you and those around you. Instead, think about what really matters to you.

9. Justification. “He does this on purpose to get me” - do not attribute bad motives to people: they are either not true or one-sided. Even if a person really plans evil, then “he does it because he is unhappy, disliked and misunderstood” - as a rule it turns out to be no less true than the previous assessment.

10. Anger management is very much the art of compassion. Change places mentally, look at the situation through his eyes. What do you see? Feel what he feels. What do you feel? Develop the ability to remember good things about a person in a conflict situation. At least it will be objective. “But all the same, I feel good with him (her) - what are the pies that she bakes alone worth (the evening that we spent yesterday, etc.)!

11. Humor. A good joke can quickly defuse a situation. Think about how you could joke in typical "warming up" situations, and practice using your "homemade" ones. Coming up with jokes when you're annoyed is a lot harder.

12. The result will come gradually. Anger management skills should be distinguished from knowledge of anger management skills. Acquiring them takes time and practice. You may know how to ride a bike, but not know how to do it until you start trying, and most importantly, do not continue to try, despite inevitable failures. Don't be too hard on yourself: none of us are perfect. There will definitely be breakdowns, but less and less if you continue self-study. Do not rush and do not beat yourself up for failures. Don't give up and everything will work out.
Many people have dramatically changed their lives by learning only three or four of the anger management techniques I have described, including myself. And you can. Source: Alexander Kuznetsov

In addition to the general principles that will help you master the feeling of anger, it is important to have a working instruction on hand, which, when practiced (at least 5-10 times), can become your skill and save you from a lot of problems. So:

1. Admitting to yourself that you got angry. Say out loud: “I am very angry / angry! Recognition is necessary to ensure continued, intelligent management of one's emotions.

2. Use the STOP technique. When you feel the level of anger building up, mentally tell yourself “STOP. After that, wait 5-10 seconds. At the moment when your emotions are ready to explode and burst into a storm on the offender, you get precious time to make the right decision in this situation.

3. Inhale deeply several times. This will help restore breathing and the rhythm of the heart. And also "ground" and again feel contact with the body. "Blow off steam" in simple terms.

4. Put yourself in the place of the offender. Let's consider such a situation. Let's say you got nasty on public transport. The first reaction is to be rude in response. However, try to put yourself in the place of your offender. Maybe he has problems in the family, at work, or he is lonely and deeply unhappy. And he is rude not for pleasure, but unconsciously, due to a defensive reaction to more prosperous people than himself. Understanding that someone is in pain when they are angry helps develop compassion for the face rather than reacting with anger. This way you can take control of your negative emotions.

5. Choose several possible reactions. The pause gives you the opportunity to ask yourself the decisive question: What result do I want to get with this reaction?

6. Suggest a solution. Concentrate on possible solutions to the problem, and offer the person several options. Two or three options are better than one, because your opponent gets a sense of freedom of choice. Use the magic word - "let's ...". "Let's try this..."

Remember that anger is a bad helper in solving problems. Therefore, the best thing is to remain calm and balanced. When nerves go to hell, it is better to try to keep your mouth shut. (Harris)

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